Pete Zahut

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Posts by Pete Zahut

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  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

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  Pete Zahut

  a few minutes later she deposited every gift I ever gave her in front of my door.
  

  All part of the emotionalism and manipulative childish drama they've come to believe is expected in the JW roles they've chosen to play.

  Good grief...a person should be able to choose their own religion without having their family fall to pieces. Your actions are helping to toughen them up because the probability is quite high that sooner or later their JW bubble will eventually be burst by something else.
  

  Remember, their tears are not about concern for you (even though they think they are) Their tears are for sorrow for themselves and having to get used to change and the fear change induces in most people. They are crying because you are not playing along with the fantasy they've built their life around and have come to emotionally depend upon. The change you have made has caused them take a look at themselves differently and they don't like what they're seeing.
  

  Do not engage in explanations, bargaining, arguments or long discussions with them. To do so would put you in the position of having to defend yourself rather than being in a position of having taken control of your life. Sometimes it's best to only communicate briefly in writing until the emotions die down. You've said what you've said and let them adjust to the new you if they choose to. You can't waste your life being part of this emotional blackmail. It's been taking place long enough.

  Be smart, make goals and keep your nose pointed in the positive direction you want to go in life. Learn from your mistakes rather than let them define who you are. A lot of the moral and other values you learned as a JW can be a benefit if you are balanced about them. Don't toss them all out but make healthy and safe choices on a hourly and daily basis and prove to them all that it can be done.
  
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  38

  Talk to my Dad about beards.

  by LovingLifeNow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i spoke to my elder dad the other day, and he asked if i still am sporting a beard.

  i said yes, then i said, "i thought the society said its ok to have a neat trimmed beard now?

  " he said "no, no, no..if you read the article , it says in countries where it is accepted" so my response was "ummm, its pretty accepted here in america"..which he says "it reflects your spirituality" "if another wittness saw you, they would know you are weak"...i was like, "ok, i don't get it, and i follow christ/god, not men..." then he said in his hall" if a brother came in with a beard , he would not have privelages" then i just gave up, and tried to change the subject..ugggggggggg if these people would just listen to themselves , they would see the sillyness of there teachings...

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  Pete Zahut

  2+2=5 12 hours ago

  If your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums.

  Maybe so but then again, you haven't met my Mum. (If she'd shave once in awhile, stop wearing those awful black dresses and quit smoking those cheap cigars, she'd be a nice lookin' woman.)
  
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  6

  My last talk

  by Normalfulla in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i was recalling my last talk , it was something to do with finding jehovah's treasures or something anyhow in my prep i decided to google "real life treasure maps " and i came across the copper scroll which was found with the dead sea scrolls https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/copper_scroll and i described the real life treasure map etc and of course likened it to the bible as if it were a treasure map to life (duh) anyway afterwards an elder present at my talk said "i wouldn't believe everything u read on the internet" .

  i was totally pissed off by his comments as though if it didn't come from a wt publication it can't be trusted as true , this was before i woke up but i was so incensed by his comments it messed with me that he would doubt my research and then ..... i woke up but that wasn't what did it just an.event along the way.

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  Pete Zahut

  
  
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  19

  Feeling Alone. Need Emotional Support.

  by Doubtfully Yours in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  please chime in if you're one of my kindred spirit that happens to literally be trapped in due to strong family/friends ties, or plain fear of being abandoned in old age.. although leaving the org is my ultimate wish and desire, fear of the unknown, fear of how it would change my family dinamics, plain fear alone paralyzes me.

  how do you cope in this difficult situation?

  dy.

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  Pete Zahut

  Feel the fear and do it anyway. Every valiant person that ever lived has been afraid but what made them a hero, was their ability to get past their fears.
  

  Identify what it is you are afraid of and focus on the outcome you want , rather than spending your energy on worrying about what you don't want.

  Sometimes people are afraid of reaching their goals and or being successful because they are afraid of having to keep going. They believe they don't have what it takes to make it on their own and choose to continue on the same safe route, even though they are miserable. (think abused wife who chooses to be beaten rather than strike out on her own)

  Focus on the present moment and on whatever step, however tiny, that can be taken today to bring you closer to where you want to be.

  Get used to being uncomfortable. Most of us have figured out how to navigate our way through the world and avoid things that make us uncomfortable. If we want to grow, we need to experience discomfort and get past it. (someone who refused to do anything that made him sweaty or tired, for example,could never be a bodybuilder or a great athlete)
  
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  27

  If a person is transgender and gets saved what will they go to heaven as?

  by Nikorasu95 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know this is a stupid question because the answer is obvious, but if a person was born a male and gets transgender surgery to turn into female will that person go to heaven as a male or female if they died saved?

  i think they will go to heaven with the gender they were born with.

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  Pete Zahut

  Everyone knows that only Jehovah's Witness Anointed ones go to heaven and a transgender person would never be allowed to partake of the Bread and Wine.

  Problem Solved.
  
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  38

  Talk to my Dad about beards.

  by LovingLifeNow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i spoke to my elder dad the other day, and he asked if i still am sporting a beard.

  i said yes, then i said, "i thought the society said its ok to have a neat trimmed beard now?

  " he said "no, no, no..if you read the article , it says in countries where it is accepted" so my response was "ummm, its pretty accepted here in america"..which he says "it reflects your spirituality" "if another wittness saw you, they would know you are weak"...i was like, "ok, i don't get it, and i follow christ/god, not men..." then he said in his hall" if a brother came in with a beard , he would not have privelages" then i just gave up, and tried to change the subject..ugggggggggg if these people would just listen to themselves , they would see the sillyness of there teachings...

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  Pete Zahut

  Which he says "It reflects your spirituality" "If another wittness saw you, they would know you are weak"...
  

  So wouldn't it be deceptive for a man to shave his beard simply to hide his supposed spiritual weakness?

  
  

  " Then he said in his hall" If a brother came in with a beard , he would not have privileges" If someone is spiritually weak, wouldn't it be better to embrace them and make them feel part of the congregation rather than further alienate them by leaving them out of the congregation activities?
  
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  41

  48% Capacity at Kingdom Halls - A post on reddit

  by berrygerry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there was a letter read this week, followed by a talk about all the changes that are coming in the next couple of months regarding merging congregations in the area (va/md/dc) - the letter said that the kh's in the area are only being filled to 48% capacity.

  this was music to my ears as i have noticed the decline in attendance in all the neighboring congregations.

  they will sell some kingdom halls and merge some congregations.

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  Pete Zahut

  Having to travel greater distances to another Kingdom Hall instead of attending one in their own area, could possibly be the tipping point for some who are barely hanging in there as it is.
  
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  41

  48% Capacity at Kingdom Halls - A post on reddit

  by berrygerry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there was a letter read this week, followed by a talk about all the changes that are coming in the next couple of months regarding merging congregations in the area (va/md/dc) - the letter said that the kh's in the area are only being filled to 48% capacity.

  this was music to my ears as i have noticed the decline in attendance in all the neighboring congregations.

  they will sell some kingdom halls and merge some congregations.

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  Pete Zahut

  When one is struggling with doubts or they just aren't motivated to attend the meetings, being part of a congregation with sparse attendance is often the straw that breaks the camels back, for them.

  Besides the monetary gain from selling off Halls and merging congregations, I'm sure the GB realizes there is an "encouragement" factor that comes into play when one is sitting in a crowded Kingdom Hall as opposed to one with lots empty seats and little old ladies.
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  4

  Stratigies to get a loved one out

  by Coded Logic in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i don't think there's any "one right way" to go about trying to show friends and family that the religion is both false and harmful.

  but i do think there are a couple of things we should keep in mind..

  ) the religion is a social network.

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  Pete Zahut

  Ask the question - let them answer. And then leave it alone.

  I think this is key. Rather than coming at them with information that could shock them back into their safe JW rabbit hole, I think it's best to casually ask them to explain their own beliefs to you.

  Once I stopped going to meetings myself, I used to ask my wife to remind me what the scriptural reasoning was behind a certain basic JW doctrines. In the process of her telling me the answer, she'd see how flawed the reasonings were. I didn't have to do anything, just let her explain her own beliefs.

  Sometimes I'd ask her what her take was on something I wondered about. For example:

  Me: I was thinking about how God sent his angel in to kill off all of the firstborn babies in Egypt because Pharaoh wouldn't let the Israelites go.

  Her: Yeah, what about it?
  

  Me: I was wondering why he had the Israelites organize an army and do battle for him on many occasions when he could have simply sent in his angels to get rid of his enemies, such as the Cananites. Especially since one of the 10 commandments he gave to them specifically said, "Thou shall not kill" ?

  I'd leave it at that, not make her feel obligated to answer or defend anything. I'd just let her think about it.

  I started to notice that when I attended a Sunday meeting on occasion, she'd look up the scriptures that were sighted in the talk but would begin reading the surrounding verses and would notice that the speaker was applying the scripture out of context.

  Finally one day, she went by herself to the District Assembly but came home at the intermission disgusted by what she was hearing them say about "higher education". She hasn't been to a meeting or Assembly in about 7 years now. She quit on her own...cold turkey and unlike me, doesn't feel the need to discuss it with her JW family, hasn't felt the need to visit a site like this and couldn't care less what's going on with the JW religion now.
  
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  20

  Simple question for everyone

  by kairos in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  q. how do you explain the millions that have left or were dfd/dad from jws?.

  a. no evidence exists that it is the truth.. case closed....

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  Pete Zahut

  When I think back on my life as a JW, I personally knew or was related to dozens of people who either left the organization on their own or who were DF'd or DA'd for one reason or another. I think it's safe to say that like me, each and every one of the 8 million + current JW's today, also have at least one or more relatives or former friends who are no longer a JWs.

  That being the case, there are more "former" JW's in the world, than there are current JWs. In the past, unless they were willing to picket outside an assembly, these former JWs had to disappear into the wild blue yonder and remain voiceless as to what happened to them.

  Thankfully, those days are gone and thanks to the internet, millions upon millions of former JW's now have a voice. They are a mighty throng who will no longer be silenced.